
I can't tell you how many desserts, cookies and dinner I've ruined from cooking while I'm on the phone with my sisters. Did I add the sugar? Did I add the salt? How many cups of flour was I on? Did I add 2 cups already or was it 3 or maybe 4? Who can keep track when your sister is being hilarious and making you laugh. I just can't cook, concentrate and laugh at the same time. See this beautiful, delicious looking desert? This is what I was trying to make while I was on the phone with Mary Kate today. It has a caramel layer to it, and I'm pretty sure I passed the smooth stage and went directly into the crack your teeth stage. I cooked it too long and it turned into toffee, but it didn't keep me from using it. It's in the tart pan looking beautiful but I doubt I'll be able to even get a knife through it. The ganache turned out delicious and I've already eaten several spoonfuls, and Jordan's old high school buddies came over and they had a few spoonfuls, too. They wanted to know where the cookies were, but all they got was ganache and having to listen to me fret over my dessert.
Don't you hate it when something you're making doesn't turn out?
Don't you hate it when you're living your life and it doesn't turn out?
I realize the subject is baking but couldn't you feel like that about everything? Sometimes I do, but when something doesn't turn out right it always brings out my curiosity. I may not like it but I'm always curious about it and wonder, "Well, let's see where it will go." I'm a firm believer that things can and often do get worse, and today the dessert took a turn for the worst, but it's still in the refrigerator and in a few hours I will check on it and see how it is.
If it isn't any good I will make a new one tomorrow and just keep working on it until I get it right. And if it doesn't turn out right then I will call Erin for some cooking advice. And if that doesn't fix it I will call up one of my sisters and laugh about it. But, not while I'm making it of course. After. After everything is measured, fixed and finished. Then I can laugh.
Well, who knew I would end up waxing philosophically about life all on account of a dessert not turning out. For some reason it's reminding me of a poem by Theodore Roethke and the lines I keep remembering are, "I wake from sleep and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go." I learn by going where I have to go. I guess we're all just going and we're all just learning.
Well, so much for fancy dessert day. Thanks for reading along, and whatever you do don't make this dessert while you're on the phone with one of your sisters. You'll laugh too hard and it might not turn out and then you'll have to think about life, living and poetry. Wouldn't Mother be proud.



9 comments:
Oh so much to say, no time as usual. Rushing out to class and practicing West on the violin. I was showing Sailor Roethke poems (The sloth) just yesterday and thinking that I wanted a book of his poem for Christmas.
What about your beautiful tart? Caramel is finicky, isn't it? I'd rather have a spoonful of ganache over caramel anyday. I really liked where this essay was going. I wish life was like a recipe sometime so that I could figure out what to do to make sure it turned out with a beautiful shiny finish and a smooth caramel center instead of a cruddy, dull finish with a middle filled with inedible rocks. Where is Michelle? I'd like her to join in this conversation. She is so funny when she is self deprecating. I should stop her-especially since I don't agree with anything she is saying-but I am laughing too hard to object. Can you stop by later tonight with cake? I'll be home at nine thirty after the Nutcracker parent meeting after class which I am about to be late too.
Thanks for the philisophical reflection today. I needed it.
I woke up today to another big work project, throw up (not my own), ants all over my clean laundry basket, and 4.5 children looking for an education....No, this isn't exactly what I once imagined I was 'born to do' as Sister Hinckley used to say, but oh well....I guess we'll see how it all turns out :).
I wish I was closer, too , so I could come over and break my teeth on your delicious looking dessert. You are an expert baker. I bet it turns out great--I am forever an optimist.
I'll call you soon. When you aren't baking and I'm not cleaning up something gross.
Hang in there! H ps...maybe you should write your chapter on this? (That seems to be the running comment anytime someone starts being philosophical).
ps...maybe our baking theories really resemble our philosophies on life...Mom always feels like there is no dish she can't save--much like her take on people, and I believe her.
And here you are making something beautiful despite your setbacks...
I like my new theory.
(Maybe I should write my chapter on this?......I'm kidding.)
Erin, I am wondering the same thing. Where is Michelle? Why can't we get her to join in? Doesn't she know we need her and miss her? Doesn't she know we love her sense of humor and you two are the funniest things in the world together? Can't you drag your comrade out to play? Could you call your old Brownie Troop Leader and tell her to make Michelle join in. We could give her a merit badge if she joins in and staple it on her sash.
Thanks for taking the time to write. I know you're just sitting around in your pajamas and sweater watching cartoons with your children and not racing around at all to get to lessons, or helping children practice or attending Nutcracker parent meetings or teaching Humanities.
I love Theodore Roethke. I know the Sloth but I had to reread it as soon as you mentioned it. "He knows you know he knows." I will keep my eye out for a book of his poems for you.
And yes I wish life was like a recipe so we could all have perfect pie crust kind of lives. I'm tired of eating rocks. "I got a rock!"
I'm going to call Michelle and beg her to join in, and I don't know if i have time to make a chocolate cake but I'll be over at 10:00 with my perfectly awful chocolate peanutty turtle tart.
Heidi Leigh,
I wish I was there to help you. Throw up, ants in the clean laundry, and another work project, and children who need to be educated.
Should I send you some Calgon? Do you want to fill up a barrel outside with rain water and sink into it?
(Overboard) Those are rough days and I'm sorry you're having one.
I love that our baking philosophies all pertain to our real true lives. I love Mom's and I believe hers.
I can't help but feel curious even when there are setbacks. I keep thinking of Singing In The Rain when he gives the glorified version of his success story and says, "Dignity, always dignity."
I love that everything we write is a potential chapter for our book. I don't know exactly what any of us are going to actually write but I really can't wait to read it. As Mom would say, "It's going to be great."
I'm sorry I'm so distracting Leslie. No I'm teasing but I am sorry your lovely dessert did not turn out. I know you will continue to make it, master it and be able to whip it up in 5 minutes flat for Relief Society Socials for the Lovely Ladies. Well add to me to the list of people cleaning up throw up today. Jake and Bella are a lovely shade of greenish gray and sick with the dreaded stomach flu. I loved your post but I really can't stay and chat. Loved the picture from the last post by the way! Your girls really are so pretty! The little Angels!
Ps. Thanks to Julie and you for your kindness about the bathing suit pictures. Thanks for not judging too harshly.. now get those off of there!
And Julie I loved your Disney post. I tried commenting today but was doomed from the beginning. It was so funny! I haven't given hope for tomorrow. If I don't, let me just say that I think your sisters and you looked beautiful in that oversized teacup and looked so happy to be together. It was so sweet to see.
Ohhhhhh Mary,
What happened? You were the one who was sick. Don't the kids know they need to give you a break and not throw up when you're sick! Poor You!
By the way Mary, you know me so well; make it, master it, and whip it up in five minutes.
I should never, ever try new recipes while I'm on the phone with you or Erin. That's when all the disasters occur. I can only bake on the phone after I've mastered a recipe and make it a hundred thousand times.
I loved Julie's Disneyland pictures. I wish we had a pretty picture of all of us in a teacup. But, we'd probably end up throwing up and then who would clean that up?
Well, I'm super sorry Jake and Bella are ill. I hope they made it to the sink or trashcan unlike my children who will throw up on the couch, the floor, or the toilet seat that happens to be down and not up!
Also, I have no idea still how to get those pictures off the blog unless I delete the entire post.
Well, I hope you at least get a good night's sleep tonight and that no one throws up in the middle of the night. Maybe everyone should take a bucket to bed with them. All right, poor little Mare. Good luck, good night, and good gosh!
I love this post! I once wrote a whole post about the anxiety caused by messing up my sugar cookies. I love that you overthink things like I do and turn everything into something. My mom says she hates when I get philosophical about everything, and I love that I am not alone in my overthink and then write about it world. I was cracking up as I read this, and I will say that you had a much more positive attitude than I did with those darn cookies. I am hard to rattle, but when I mess up something that other people have to see, I just come unhinged.
Also, hello to Mary! You really did look good in those pictures. Thanks for your nice words about my post. I am glad to know you are still reading along. We need to somehow get all you Renouf girls posting. It is so much fun with a few of us. Imagine the fun we could have with the whole gang.
Julie,
I'm laughing. I know I do it and I know it can drive other people crazy. Erin thinks it's the mind of a writer, and I think you have it, too. Overthink is exactly the right word and it's impossible not to do it.
Whenever anything doesn't work out exactly as I thought it would, it always piques my interest and curiosity. It's like a plot turn and you have to keep reading to see how it will resolve itself.
The dessert was actually pretty good. The caramel part turned out too chewy, but not too hard.
We all tried it, but even I thought it was way too rich and sweet. I don't think it would be something I would even want a piece of, only a bite, but it sure looked beautiful.
Also, we wish your sisters would blog, too. I wish more of mine would jump in and blog along. We love getting to have a glimpse at everyone's thoughts and lives.
Most of us don't do facebook but we love the blogs.
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